The Beginning Of The End
by ArcheryGirl1101
Summary: Originally a EndVerse One-Shot turned Series - Future Dean and Cas. The Angels have left and Castiel begins to feel the aftermath, Dean has to help. Implied Destiel
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** : EndVerse Castiel starts to feel the effects of the Angels leaving. Dean has to try to help out.

* * *

 **The Beginning Of The End:**

Two years of the Croatoan Virus had spread world wide. Most of the population was screwed by now. Sam had been attacked and Dean wasn't the same afterwards, finding Sam like that, it was too much for Dean to handle.

That was only the starting point of his problems, camp was running out of supplies and ontop of that Bobby had only recently died. Dean had noticed the symptoms and had to kill his father-figure.

His mission was a supply-run after Chuck had brought up a few problems, Cas had come along because he has nothing better to do, plus he still wanted to protect Dean. He was still an Angel, sort of, he had been feeling off as of late but didn't bring it up as Dean or their 'fearless leader' as Cas had started to nickname him had a lot on his plate.

Cas was drifting off in the jeep for a change, he was feeling the weight of his vessel increase.

"Hey. Hey!" Dean batted his arm "Stay awake, we're almost there. Since when do you crash out like that?"

Cas blunk rapidly trying to indulge in the burst of energy "I don't know"

Dean analysed Cas knowing he wasn't infected but he did catch something was wrong "You feeling alright?"

"I thought you despised talking about feelings?" Cas shot back.

Dean shook his head muttering a "Nevermind then"

Dean stopped and the two made their weapons check, Dean had been teaching Cas all he knew, and did catch a few glances from Cas making sure he was doing the right thing.

"All checked?"

"Yeah,"

"OK"

Dean lead the two around the area, both could hear Croats in the distance but their supplies were closer. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cas stagger every few steps, Dean didn't know what was going on but he couldn't concentrate on Cas and the mission equally, he still cared about Cas before he was cut off emotionally and couldn't exactly deal with feelings.

He bit his tongue in asking Cas if he was alright because he clearly wasn't but right now supplies were his focus. A few Croats were close but nothing that was of high concern right now. They grabbed all they needed from Chuck's list. Cas looked worse than he did earlier and Dean still hadn't said anything as Cas was usually one to speak up first. They were only a few feet away from the jeep, Cas dropped to the ground thumping into a car on his way down, he was out for the count.

"Cas!" Dean had to drag Cas to the jeep and drive off while loading his own and Cas' duffel bags.

On the drive back Dean pressed his foot down a little harder than he needed to but his old protective instincts kicked in, he gripped Cas' wrist tight and felt out a pulse, it was weak but it was there. Dean more or less dragged Cas into the smaller cabin while ordering Chuck to take the supplies, his didn't even hear Risa and Chuck asking what had happened to Cas.

Clearing the desk Cas was roughly placed on top. His eyes were still shut and his breathing was light along with a weak beating pulse. Dean prepped some water and some painkillers and sat by Cas for the night, Chuck came in twice to find out what happened, with Cas still unconscious he couldn't pitch in and Dean had absolutely no clue so it's not like he could pitch any ideas.

It took more than half the night for Cas to wake up, he had bolted upwards yelling "Dean!" it made Dean jump out of his chair and half the camp heard him.

"What?"

"I... nothing. What happened out there?"

"Was hoping you would tell me"

"I, uh... the Angels..."

"What about them?"

"They're gone. All of them, I lost my 'mojo' or at least a large chunk of it. I don't know how much I'll be useful to you now, no doubt this will get worse"

Dean sighed and stood up for the first time in nearly nine hours, "Well, rest up. Take those and then you and I are on invnetory, I didn't get a chance to check everything we have with Chuck" Dean left on that note stopping Cas from asking why but he figured it out spotting the glass and painkillers.

Swallowing them down Cas didn't feel better but he didn't feel worse so he made a mental note to keep an eye on it and followed out to find Dean waiting for him.

"Keep me updated" Dean ordered not looking Cas in the eye.

"You got it,"

Cas stalked off first, Dean watched with worry that should have been dead a long time ago, he lost Sam, Bobby, Ellen, Jo and now there was a chance he was going to lose Cas simply because the Angels were pussies who couldn't clean up their own mess.

"Typical"

Dean followed Cas to inventory knowing this would only be the start of their additional problems to come.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : I have no idea whether to keep this a One-Shot or make it a series of Cas' health deteriorating and Dean continuing to pick up the pieces leading up to 5x04

Please R & R for clarity

Thanks


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** : I have no idea if people want to read this or not

So enjoy if you do

Also, I apologise if the dialogue is clunky or repetitive in places. I was writing this and chapter after midnight and couldn't think straight

 _Italics_ are a flashbacks

* * *

Over the next fortnight Cas was alright or as much as he could be; his balance was off most of the time and dizzy spells were dealt with caution.

Dean had practically glued himself to his friend's side, Cas had learnt how to fake smiles and tone his voice into lying with ease to say he was OK but people in camp, old and new could see he really wasn't. Dean wasn't impressed but he didn't have room to talk, he was number one in bottling up feelings, emotions and what needed to be said.

Cas secluded himself most times than not, he believed he was unless despite when he was needed - which wasn't as often as he originally thought - no-one bothered him but Dean always came in like clockwork at noon and then stayed for several hours, the two would clean guns, map out hot zones or safe areas for possible supply runs or just sit in each other's company. The pair barely spoke to one another, less than before. The former Angel knew Dean was worried but didn't voice it because whenever something happened to those closest to him Dean shut himself down and his solider façade was in full frontal.

Cas was battling nausea tonight, his felt like absolute crap. Dean confiscated pain killers as he had caught Cas nearly downing half the bottle in one go. Cas' body was on fire and he couldn't sleep or even rest. Nearly everyone had gone off on a mission, Cas could only think about his last conversation with Dean.

 _"It's a pathetic scavenger hunt" Risa spat out._

 _"There's a chance the Colt is there. We need to check this out. We're no closer stopping Lucifer sitting on our asses" Dean argued back._

 _Arnold scoffed, "What?" Dean demanded._

 _"You really think this is going to work? We've spent nearly every day trying to find this 'magic' gun that can possibly bring Lucifer down"_

 _"I'm sorry, do you have any other ideas?" A now pissed off Dean lifted his eyebrows in waiting._

 _"No," Arnold muttered_

 _"That shut you mouth. Wheels up in ten"_

 _Cas hadn't moved yet and Dean was memorising the map, "You joining us?"_

 _"Think I should?" Cas asked truthfully_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"Because over the past few days you've been manhandling me around the area. Dean I'm slowing you down each time I've gone out. Because of me we've had too many close calls. We lost two people because I distracted you by passing out"_

 _Dean stared down Cas, it didn't last as Cas bolted out the room, vomiting what little he did eat and all his stomach acids behind the cabin where no-one could see him in such a miserable state. He was spitting out bile as Dean approached him._

 _"See? I'm distracting you again. Useless" Cas breathed out wiping his mouth._

 _"No. It's call mortality"_

 _"Going mortal... I didn't think it would be so heinous"_

 _"It gets easier" Dean shrugged_

 _"Sure. I'll just dive into the brilliance that is being a Human, Dean" Cas rolled his eyes and planted his sweaty back against the cabin wall "What can I do as a Human, just waste away into nothingness"_

 _"Cas,"_

 _The former Angel just waved a dismissive hand "Go, Fearless Leader. They need you for this mission. I'll be around somewhere when you get back" Dean silently walked away after staring at Cas' failing health._

Cas wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep but he woke up in a cold sweat. He was superbly happy about not to having a door as he desperately needed fresh air, he preferred the sound of the wooden beads he could pass anyway. He staggered out of his cabin and crashed into the dirt retching loudly, in a strange moment of vulnerability he wondered about Gabriel, he stared up to the blurry sky and quietly asked "Gabriel, if you're there, what do you think of me now?"

He was met with silence so he pushed himself back onto his feet, it lasted three seconds before his body gave up and dropped into the ground. No-one bar Chuck was around so he just laid there helpless, a pathetic waste in his own mind, he knew it was either late or drifting into early morning but right now Cas couldn't care.

It was convenient timing Chuck was going on a mini stroll around the campus as he spotted Cas lying in the mud, eyes shut with black bags underneath and paler physique. He felt pity for the raven-haired man and wondered how it had come to this, Cas was suppose to be a warrior of Heaven and now he was as fragile as anyone else in their dying world.

Cas woke up hours later to the sound of heavy boots pacing around him and mute-filtered voices, he couldn't make anything out. He felt his body change from beforehand, he didn't feel like crap anymore and he realised he was lying the recovery position.

He unfolded himself and sat up.

"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty" Dean crouched down and nudged his shin.

"I don't know what that is" Cas mumbled to himself.

"Here," Dean helped Cas up and planted him on a seat.

"Any good news?" Cas questioned.

"No, another dead end and Risa isn't pulling any punches in letting me know about it"

"What about Lucifer?"

"Nothing yet, but a Demon did help point us in the right direction"

"That means there were less Croats this time" Cas finished.

"Yeah" Dean rubbed his eyes slowly "So, what about you? I saw Chuck trying to move you inside when I got back, you were dead to the world"

"Another blackout. But I don't feel any of that now, the regular headache is still there and probably won't be leaving soon but I don't think I'm going to throw up anymore"

"Good. Next mission you're coming. Can't have you getting rusty"

"Alrighty," Cas turned to leave but Dean's grip on his wrist made it's appearance. It was there way on communicating without needing words now, almost like old times.

"I'll keep you updated" Cas spoke gently then to be was released from Dean and the Winchester watched the retreating back of his only true friend left.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : I have started writing Chapter Three but as I said before I have no idea if people are interested in this story

Please R & R as it would help me a lot.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** : Possible slight OOC moment but I think after all the crap Dean is going through on top of all the failures and deaths along with Cas 'dying' he finally reached his breaking point eventually.

* * *

Though the consistent vomitting had stopped the dizziness still wasn't fun.

Out on a mission with Dean, Arnold plus a newbie was easier than before but now he had to deal with a new problem; nosebleeds.

The first time it was just after a raid had finished the journey back consisted of Cas holding his nose while catching pouring blood, safe to say his driver - Craig - was a bit freaked out. Cas returned with a red stained shirt, Dean wanted answers immediately but Cas wasn't able to give any, the bleeding wasn't stopping for anyone. By the end of it an old rag was ruby red and Cas was drifting in and out of consciousness.

Putting his foot down Dean locked himself away with Cas in the smaller of cabins and the two dealt with Cas' problems together. Cas didn't want to burden Dean any further but the Winchester's foot was down and mind was set, meaning no-one was going to convince Dean of doing anything else.

"I can hear them..." Cas stated once in his sleeping state.

"Who?" Dean questioned.

"The Angels... they... are calling me..."

"Wouldn't the radios be flickering or something?"

"It's gone, it was only for a moment," Cas' eyelids slipped shut before Dean could ask anything else. Sighing he sat down next to Cas as he had stuck himself against the far wall, Dean pulled him in closer and allowed Cas' head to rest on his shoulder, for now the former Angel's energy was spent, all gone from the excessive blood loss. Cas had snuck in some painkillers before 'Lockdown' - as Cas had put it once while arguing with the Winchester - was set in place to deal with it and though they did make him drowsy from time to time and it was beginning to worry Dean more than it should that Cas was relying on pain medication to power through the day but he wasn't going to babysit Cas when Lucifer was still out there and the Colt needed to be found.

"Talk to me, Cas. What's going on in that head of yours," Dean spoke out loud knowing he wouldn't get a response.

For a moment Dean was delighted Cas was asleep, the consistent breathing allowed Dean to relax. In a pure moment of fear he pulled in Cas' forehead and laid a quick kiss to it, it didn't mean anything, Dean would deny it to his dying breathe that he didn't have feelings for Cas, he just simply cared for his best friend too much to see him suffer alone. That was the whole point of this, keeping Cas under his nose day and night, he figured he was undermining his 'no babysitting Cas' rule but as Dean usually put it after Cas was cleaned up "You can never do anything the easy way, can you Cas?"

Dean turned his head, pulling a face because Cas wasn't talking to him,

"Cas. What happened to you? First the coat was lost, the pills, now... you're almost Human. Bobby's gone, Sam's gone too and I don't exactly give a rat's ass about them out there, maybe I could bat an eye at Chuck but you..." Dean cleared his throat, "If you go... I don't know how long I'd stay sane enough not to blow my own brains out. I'd rather have you here than buried six feet under or become a Croat. Others I could shoot down but-"

Dean had to stop, he was rambling and he was aware people could sometimes hear him when he ranted away. He was aware for the first time in a long time he was becoming emotional and could feel moisture over his dull green eyes

"Don't go anywhere Cas. I don't care what you do; bang everyone you meet, drink yourself stupid or just flat out stop talking but..." Dean sighed heavily "Don't leave... without me right behind you. Is that clear?"

Dean had to shove the lump in his throat down. Cas' head lulled a little as a response, Dean held out hope that Cas has heard something.

"Sure thing, Dean"

The Winchester wasn't sure if he actually heard anything, Cas pulled himself closer to Dean and squeezed Dean's calloused hand.

"I won't be going away anytime soon. Not unless our Fearless Leader needs me to" Cas didn't open his eyes but gave a lop-sided smile.

Dean didn't respond.

"I would return your gesture of affection but I think I'd miss" Cas joked

"Go to sleep, Cas" Dean shot back. Both smiling for a change as Cas drifted off again. Dean knew it was due to finally talking to his friend again and maybe something could happen between them in the future but right now their mission to find and kill Lucifer was priority one.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : I've brought up dizziness and headaches before but not gone into detail yet

If anyone wants to see it _please_ R & R as I would like to know if people are interested in reading this.

Some of these may not be in chronological order but all take place before 5x04

I might do a Spin-Off AU where Cas wasn't told to go with the others as the distraction as Past Dean had gotten through to his future self. Future Dean and Cas survive though not unharmed.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** : Finally touching upon dizziness. I might focus on headaches / migraines next but I'm not 100% sure.

* * *

Spinning.

The entire Earth was spinning around Castiel.

He'd close his eyes and attempt to plant his feet on the ground but that didn't stop him from swaying around the place.

Even sitting down he found it near-impossible to keep himself upright.

Having his vision spiralling out of control made life Hell for Cas, along with the headaches he could barely move around all day.

Dean eventually caught on once Cas had walked into a doorframe and dropped onto the ground, he paced over to him and firmly grasped the fallen man's shoulder.

"Dammit Cas. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought I did," Cas' body wasn't co-operating in any forms of movement. Deciding that Dean's draping him about was too much Cas swung his arm out and successfully whacked the behind of the Winchester's knee to trip him up, the pair landed in a tangled heap on the floor.

Dean sent Cas a glare to ask 'What the Hell was that about?' but he couldn't, seeing his friend so defeated silenced any harsh words.

"So, how long this time?" Dean pushed himself up and leaned against the wall opposite Cas.

"With what?"

"How long have you been shouldering this by yourself?" Dean bit his cheek trying not to yell but was failing miserably.

"Under a month, maybe?" Cas for grateful he was finally able to have a flat-ish horizon line, of course it was doubled as soon as Dean helped Cas sit up against the wall.

"How many of me are you seeing?"

Cas blunk several times in Dean's direction, "Uh... three? If I wait long enough, four"

"Not funny, Cas" Dean huffed.

"I'm not laughing," Cas carefully sat himself up a bit, grimacing "I'm fine, Dean"

"You expect me to believe that?"

"No"

"They don't bother trying to convince me otherwise," Dean snapped.

"Because I thought I could handle it"

Dean snorted "How's that working out for ya?"

"Lousy" Cas' eyelids drooped shut, his body slid sideways, Dean caught him in time.

"Whoa, whoa. Cas, you were suppose to keep me updated on your condition, why didn't you open your mouth?"

"You were busy with keeping us safe plus finding the Colt in addition with making supply runs while keeping up with inventory. I didn't think my selfish acts were necessary to be heard"

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"So I've been told, yes"

"I've lost everyone, Cas. I'm not going through that with you. The next you time feel this bad, tell me. That's an order"

"Gotcha," Cas smirked and gave Dean a wink, if Dean didn't know Cas he would think the former Angel was drunk.

Dean cupped Cas' stubbled cheek "Your temperature's rising," he commented

Cas only stared longingly towards Dean with a dumb smile on his face

"Three..." Cas started and shifted himself closer to Dean "Two..." Cas was an inch awat from Dean now, The Winchester was far too confused to move. Cas' lips met Dean's. The kiss was short and simple, before it could escalate Cas' chest vibrated in laughter "One. Now I see one of you"

Dean couldn't think. His breathing was erratic and was unable to look at Cas Dean stormed away missing the broken expression radiating of Cas. The former Angel sunk into pity and slight depression and just sat there alone for the rest of the night. Dean didn't try to find him again so the message was pretty clear from where Cas stood... or sat in this case.

Dean couldn't face Cas the rest of the day or anyone for that matter, he was beyond terrified of his own feelings and locked himself away all day with a faded 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging off his door. He knew deep down he cared more for Cas than he admitted and when the resistance first started he thought he and Cas could be together, the end of the world and the one person he had left that he truly cared about, it was almost perfect. He cursed himself, kicked himself and down right hated himself the whole night for running off on his best friend and possible- No. Dean couldn't think like that. It wouldn't end well, no-one of them would end up dead and no-one would be there to pick up the pieces. He took out his frustrations on the walls leaving him bloody knuckled and bruised.

Dean thought he did what he did best; ruin everything. He believed he'd screwed up his entire bond with Cas over one simple mistake and now it would never be the same again.

Neither knew how wrong they both were, they just needed to talk, air out all their problems and concerns and then patch things up but with a Winchester and a (former) Angel things were never that simple.

It took two weeks before they sat on located themselves in the same room as each other and Dean watched from afar if Cas' health shifted one way or another. Hunting or scavenging was awkward but the two still had each other's back and Cas had silently asked for Dean's help with gun equipment multiple times and on a rare day the two sparred together however the holes they had dug themselves into continued to get deeper and deeper and neither were really ready to pull themselves up yet.

They just needed more time which unfortunately they never got.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : Thank you for the views.

I would deeply appreciate a review - good or bad I don't mind.

I'm not sure if this will be my last Chapter.

I may incorporate one last Chapter into 5x04 but I don't know yet.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N** :

Firstly: I have a huge thanks to give to **emnm2525** for the review.

Thanks to **emnm2525** I have more confidence in this story.

Second: I couldn't think of what to actually write for Headache / Migraine in absolute detail.

Hopefully this is OK.

* * *

For a while Cas thought the whole loss of his Grace was finished by now, it had been six months and he was completely fed up and done with the whole situation of Dean hovering over his shoulder and him being unable to take care of himself and those around him when it counted.

He was wrong.

His head pounded day and night without any indication of ending any time soon.

He could brave-face his way through the missions he forced himself to go to as a distraction but it usually made a worse situation just horrible.

He and Dean were still on an awkward stand still with talking to one-another. It was awful but they had to put other priorities over personal ones.

Dean had taken off during the raid, Croats had caused the group to split off, Dean was alone, so was Cas while Risa, Charlie and Adrian were lucky to hold themselves together. Cas had attempted to follow Dean's trail despite being chased by 'people' who could kill him with ease. Managing to lose his band of Croats through tight spacing and a broken window Cas was safe for now though his headache still hadn't let up. Cas felt his head pulse after every pounding step he took but he had to push his own problems aside, he could hear faint gunfire to his right and decided to follow it, he had his own machine gun and knew he had about half of his ammo reserve left meaning he had to make every bullet count.

Cas finally found something, it made him feel sick to his stomach, it was Dean's blade; something that was never put down and the traces of blood weren't exactly persuading Cas the situation was any better. By chance he heard an echo of Dean's distinctive voice a little further down the street, it made his temple twitch in agony. With caution Cas headed towards what he hoped was Dean with his blade in his hold like he use to hold his own Angel Blade.

Despite the lifetime of training Dean knew it was suicide to be alone when Croats were on your tail. Barely escaping he was startled by a Croat slamming into him, wrestling with the dead woman she had managed to kick Dean's blade away from him, nicking herself in the process. He shot the Bitch twice in the head and scrambled to another safe location. He knew drawing attention was a stupid idea but he'd rather out run them than have the group or non-existent-God knows Cas be chased around the area. He shouted "Come and get me!" He could hear his own voice trace down the streets and roads. Someone heard him, he just hoped it was a friendly. Wishful thinking.

A large body of a man stumbled around the corner, blood dripping from his lips and his skin disgustingly grey and covered in possibly anything charged at Dean, the two were brawling on the ground, the Croat managed to grab Dean's neck with a mighty threshold. Dean could only weakly struggle for a moment before the Croat was ripped off of Dean to be spun around in an impressive choke hold to then be stabbed in the spine, then the heart then had its neck snapped.

"Are you alright?" Dean believed Cas' voice was an illusion but nevertheless accepted the helping hand onto his feet.

"Dean?" Cas analysed the Winchester for injuries or signs of changing but none were there.

Finally Dean caught up with himself "Cas, thanks for that"

"Couldn't have our Fearless Leader taken out wordlessly, could I?" Cas smirked past his throbbing skull.

"Guess not," Dean patted Cas' arm, "come on" Dean gripped Cas' arm since he was now faster and lead them back to the vehicles avoiding the remainder of Croats.

After the adrenaline pumping finishing sprint both Winchester and Novak were exhausted, luckily they were passengers this time so the two rested contempt against each other in the backseats.

"Here," Cas' voice broke the silence handing back the bloody knife.

"Thanks, take this" Dean offered some painkillers "I've known about your headaches for a while now"

"You're getting better at this," Cas joked rubbing his eyes one-handed.

"You know you may be losing your Grace but that doesn't mean your Angel instincts are completely gone"

Cas didn't respond

"The way you handled that Croat, I couldn't help but think of when you would pop up out of nowhere and save my ass"

Cas still hadn't said a word, it wasn't on purpose, he was just trying to think of a time when he was useful to Dean's cause while distracting himself for the oncoming Hell of a migraine.

"Anytime Dean, like always I'll try to keep you updated but I think I'm, as you say 'on the home stretch' now" Cas replied cringing as the headache consumed him even further into a state of sleep.

Neither had realised that their hands were still connected by the time the returned to camp.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : I have no clue where to go from here. I may touch upon the fact the Cas told Past Dean that he broke his foot.

I might create a Fragile / Broken Bone(s) Chapter.

Let me know what you all think.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N** : Another mini shout out for **emnm252.**

Ahh, I'm loving the support. Thank you so much.

I using the prompt you gave me over the review with a bit of a dramatic spin to it.

Hope you don't mind.

Also - Longer Chapter than previous ones.

* * *

Another Hunt, another failure.

It wasn't anyone's fault, no-one knew what they were walking in to.

Shrapnel bombs had been laid at random parts of the area as it was deemed a Hot Zone, the charges were set off from trip-wires. Not even Dean Winchester spotted them until it was far too late for warnings.

The entire group were sprinting off in all directions. Shrapnel, rocks, housing plaster, concrete were flying projectiles, if anyone came out of this one unscathed they had luck beyond luck.

As far as Dean knew he and everyone in his group were alone, Croats were still heard throughout the areas as all Humans ducked for cover, finding shelter or trying to return to their vehicles. The Winchester could feel the rubble seeping into his skin a little further, after the first blast caused him to splatter on his face and his body transferred itself into shock Dean knew he was screwed, he vaguely remembered Cas hauling his ass away from the first set of falling scaffolding but another shockwave separated the pair from each other.

Castiel wished he was an Angel. A wish that was frequently asked for but never occurred, just his luck really. The Winchester was affecting him more than he cared to admit at the moment. All he could feel were his feet slapping the ground beneath him, in all honesty he couldn't have paid less attention or even cared about Croats close to him, Dean can bawl at him later but right now survival was the first priority, well that and something else Cas needed to attend to but he couldn't right now.

After hearing another four trip-wires go off Dean was anxious in waiting for his last member to arrive, Cas really had slowed down over the past six months with his transformation into a near Human, the others could tell Dean was aching to go back in until they heard a familiar steps.

Though internally relaxing Dean had to arm himself in case Cas was being followed - turns out he was, by about a dozen Croats.

"Cas, down!" Dean ordered, The Winchester swore he heard Cas gasp in pain before gunfire took over so decided it was just his imagination.

Staggering to his feet Cas thanked Dean and gingerly entered the jeep, in the shotgun seat no less. Dean would take that as an excuse to drive any day so he did.

It turns out the 'Resistance' has more luck than they perceived, Dean, Charlie and Aiden had minor injuries, Cas said he was fine and Lisa, Riley and Andrew had slightly concerning injuries - Chuck plainly refused to go on Hunts, no longer able to see into the future had caused him to panic, that's why he always keeps inventory checks - they had enough supplies to keep them going for a few days to allow recovery to run its course.

"Everyone, I suggest you all take personal lockdown, no-one will be called unless absolutely necessary. Go rest" Dean ordered. The group dispersed, all but Cas.

"You know, I can get all of that out of your back, the wounds should heal within a few days of each other" Cas suggested.

Dean snorted "Yeah, I totally trust you to do that," Dean rolled his eyes "You're a druggie and part-time orgy infested alcoholic"

"Labels, again? I may have changed to a Mortal Being, Dean but that doesn't mean I don't have steady hands" Cas defended himself, standing then ushering Dean onto the table, "I'll need that jacket and shirt off"

Dean rolled his eyes and complied, Cas was finding the tweezers, once again Dean was sure he heard Cas hiss in pain but once he felt a hand on his shoulder he was distracted.

"Cas, you OK?"

"Yes. Now, this will sting" Cas began carefully plucking out pieces of rubble, stone and concrete out of the Winchester's back, Dean trusted Cas with his life and he wouldn't ask anyone else to do this. A few times Dean could see Cas' hands shake but the concentration of Cas' face reminded him of before the Croatoan Virus, he could see small beads of sweat but ignored it, passing it down to the excessive sprinting.

Cas cleaned the wounds claiming that they would heal shortly, Dean dressed himself and turned to Cas, he was leaning over the desk Dean had just left, he was gazing into no where's abyss, "Cas?" Dean moved over to Cas' side "Cas-"

Dean finally saw it; a foot long piece of concrete had speared into Cas' right side of his ribs.

"You told me you were fine," Dean's temper was simmering but blood spreading on Cas' blue shirt was enough for Dean.

"Right, lie down" Dean kind of threw Cas onto the table, knowing full well he was taking his anger out on the wrong person but Cas had kept this a secret, how Dean hadn't noticed just infuriated him more

"Son of a Bitch, Cas", Dean ripped Cas' shirt open around the wound, stickiness of drying and leaking blood made Dean's anger boil.

"I thought I was..." Cas started.

"What?"

"OK"

"Cas, start making sense," Dean bit out as Cas began to fade away "No, Cas!" Cas felt his entire body shake from his shoulder being manhandled.

"What?" Cas blunk his way back in reality and whispered "Where do you think I'll go?"

"I don't know, this'll hurt so bite down on this" Dean found a stick and placed it between Cas' teeth.

Dean hissed as Cas cried out in sheer agony, a piece of Dean broke with the concrete 'blade' being taken out of Cas' side covered in former Angel blood that should never have been shed. Dean clapped his hands over the wound after throwing away the shrapnel "It's deep, but not life threatening,"

Cas didn't hear a word of it, his face completely drained of all colour, his breathing shallower than either wanted right now.

Dean had already started sewing up the wound close, blood was still streaming down Cas' side blending into Dean's palms and both his own and Dean's shirt.

Making sure no more blood was going to slip out, Dean tapped old rags to keep the stitching hidden. All that was left to do wait for Cas to wake up. Dean was about to park his ass down but noticed Cas' chest was eerily still.

"Cas?" Dean hovered over Cas' body "Cas?" His voice grew louder, Chuck had overheard and slowly crept over to the cabin

"Cas? Cas, wake up!" No signs of obedience, Dean leaned his ear over Cas' mouth, he couldn't hear much past the pounding of his heart against his ribcage along with the blood rush to his eardrums.

Having to swallow down fear, panic and adrenaline Dean began chest compressions, trying his hardest not to crush the limp man beneath his strength, he had almost reached thirty when a thought struck him; he'd have to give the former Angel mouth-to-mouth. Shuddering took over, ever since Cas kissed him all those weeks ago Dean desperately wanted to avoid that much of a personal space intrusion but this wasn't a whacked out joke of a situation, it was life or death and Dean couldn't lose Cas, not now of all times. He pinched Cas' nose and gave two longs breathes into cold lips. Refusing to vomit Dean continued pumping his weight into Cas' chest. Hitting thirty again Dean's lips pressed against rapidly cooling ones again. Panic set in, he was sure he had increased to density into Cas' chest. Dean was terrified, no way in Hell was he going to lose what little he had left and Cas played a huge part of the littleness.

"Cas, come on!" He ordered.

Dean knew his eyes were watering up and he could feel someone watching him but right now Cas was more important.

"Dean?" Chuck timidly asked.

Dean sharply turned with fearful breaths, his handgun automatically aimed at Chuck.

"Whoa," He raised his hands in surrender "it's me"

Dean's attention dove straight back to Cas, he was about to restart chest compressions but Chuck grabbed his wrists, the Winchester finally realised how vigorously he was shaking, curling his hands into fists he tried steadying his breathing to no avail

"Cas!" Dean ripped his hands back from Chuck and cupped both sides of Cas' head "I need you to wake up. Now! That's an order"

"Dean," Chuck spoke again.

"Shut up. He's fine. He will be"

"Dean he's..."

"I said, shut up!"

"Only Dean Winchester can make death incredibly noisy" For just a small moment Cas sounded like his old self again, clearing his throat he smirked "Though I do appreciate having you kiss me like that and being held" Back to regular Cas.

Dean visibly sagged in relief "Don't ever do that again, not on my watch, is that clear?!"

"You got it" Cas winked at the Winchester "Hey, Chuck"

"Hi, Castiel. Glad to you... all you again"

"I wish it were like that" Cas muttered to himself, being released from Dean's buzzing palms he rested his head back against the solid board beneath him "I believe it was shock. Hopefully that won't happen again"

"Damn right," Dean muttered to himself cleaning off the blood that still remained on him, he would clean Cas up in a minute.

"Chuck, give us a second" Dean ordered.

"Sure, I'll, uh, just be... outside" Chuck nearly sprinted away.

Dean sighed, turning to face Cas watching him with a miniature smile "You OK?" Cas asked.

"Me? No. I got your blood on your face, I'll just..." His voice trailed off under Cas' intense stare.

"Don't leave me like that, Cas." Dean wiped away he blood with a damp rag, Cas inwardly bit his lips as Dean once again hovered above his face. With about two inches separating them Dean lowered himself down to properly kiss his former Angel again, though passionate Dean gave little emotion to it. He pulled away and kicked the medical tray and a chair causing them to clatter and bounce.

"Son of a Bitch!" His arms waving dramatically.

"What?" Cas demanded.

"You know what, this can't happen. I'm sorry Cas but I can't- I won't. I'll be back later to check up on you but us..." Dean held an expression of guilt and sorrow with traces of panic "It could never work"

Cas silently accepted the soaking of Dean's rejection, this time in words was much harder to process then the silent treatment from before, now it was clear. Cas knew he was useless, hopeless, fragile, and completely good for nothing. He let out a breath as the Winchester turned with his shoulders back, head held high and leave as a solider.

Cas was just who he was just now except he had a broken heart to add to the mix now.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : I have absolutely NO clue where to go next.

I think this may be my final Chapter unless someone can give a suggestion or idea.

Thank you for all the views and support.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N** : A little time jump going backwards in this Chapter.

So in a way a prequel to the Chapter One.

In this it will have only been eighteen months since the Croatoan Virus began, six months before Cas is cleared of his Grace he loses something just as valuable.

* * *

Finding survivors was tricky having to smuggle himself in and out of each city and new state Dean needed to rely on his survival skills alone.

His Angel had found him first, managing to save him from a swarm of Croats and the two had stuck together through it all.

They made their way to Bobby's and began to make calls to see who was out there. More so than not it hit dead ends.

For a small while things were safe at Bobby's until a few stragglers of Croats found them, sure enough once one came, they all did. No easy task given Bobby's handicap but somehow through ringing ears and close shaves the van containing the Winchester, Singer and Novak was speeding away.

They had found a small band of abandoned cabins and located themselves as safe houses. The few survivors they did pull in, including the Prophet Chuck the 'Resistance' as both Chuck and Cas deemed them to be started creating a routine for making supply runs, helping the sick or wounded or traumatised and who would be on hunts. Locations were the first to be tackled, shared stories gave everyone a clear idea of where was relatively a 'Safe Zone' and those that became 'Hot Zones'.

Cas was still dawning his 'Holy Tax Accountant' look, it still made him stand out like an agonising thumb but Cas was determined to keep his coat and Jimmy's belongings.

While out on a Hunt including Dean, Cas and a new made named Rich, the trio were out looking for supplies, the Colt and after rumour had thinly spread through the grapevine Lucifer was back out and roaming Earth once again, so his location was also on the high priority list.

Cas usually disappeared to check ahead, he did eventually after he replaced his footing. Recently he had struggled to land correctly, keeping quiet about it seemed the best option in the Angel's mind knowing full well Dean (or Bobby) did not need that kind of excess weight to their shoulders.

Once inside he slipped through the narrow halls and those containing Croats. He found himself slowing down and did throw himself into a wall. Growing frustrated with himself he made his way back to Dean. Mid flight, agonising pain shot through his shoulder blades, yelling his slammed into a car roof caving it in.

"Cas!" Dean ran up to the fallen Angel and pulled him to the ground, "Rich, watch my six"

Rich did as he was told.

"Cas? Cas, you hearing me?"

"Yes, Dean. I don't understand how that happened" Cas picked himself up, wondering why Dean was staring at him so fiercely "What?" Cas asked.

"You alright?" Dean wondered

"I'm fine," Cas brushed the dust off his coat and began to explain what he had seen in the warehouse. Dean noticed a few scattered feathers on the crushed car, he picked two up and stashed them in his pocket to ask Cas about later.

It ended in a safer walk back to the jeeps. Rich took his own while Dean drove Cas back, the Winchester was teaching the Angel to drive just in case during the few nights they were alone and had little company. The Angel was unamused by the idea but Dean was patient and knew Cas was making progress in his own time.

Cas had to shift himself in his seat several times, he seemed irritated by something

"What's up?" Dean asked not taking his eyed off the road

"The sky is above us, Dean"

Dean deflated and rolled his eyes, "I meant with you, squirming isn't on your usual list of things to do a vehicle"

"I don't know," Cas replied truthfully.

"OK, does it have something to do with these?" Dean pulled out one of Cas' feathers from his pocket

"Where did you find that?" Cas quickly but carefully took his feather back

"On the car you dropped on. Now I repeat, what's going on"

"What part of 'I don't know' escapes your understanding, Dean!" Cas snapped

"Jeez, touchy" Dean muttered to himself "Just... let me know if you lose anymore, got it"

"I don't-"

"It's not up for debate Cas" Dean finally looked at him with fading glasz eyes

"OK, Dean"

The rest of the journey rested in silence, bar Cas' coat shifting against the seat when he did.

Returning to the cabins Dean and Rich dealt with the supplies they found, Cas felt unneeded so he made his way to one of the smaller cabins to find out what exactly was going on with his wings. He was barely able to take off his coat, tie, blazer and shirt without wincing, he angled his neck to see his left shoulder blade raw. It was sudden but the Angel heard and felt his Wings snapping and breaking. He cried out, dropping to all fours, his feathers began to flutter beside him. In his agony he hadn't heard Dean bash in the door and rush to his side, inside Castiel's mind Jimmy's vessel was breaking, he could feel his shoulder blades and back being ripped open, the muscles and tissue being shredded as his wings were being forced out of his body. To Cas it felt as if multiple Angels had piled on top of him and them began to tear his wings off his back, ripping chucks of feathers and snapping all the bones off for fun.

The flashing bright light appeared beside Cas, Dean stared in horror as he could now officially see what was happening to Cas' body. Watching the shadows slowly disappearing Cas let out one final scream as his wings were pulled out of his true form's back, the light fizzed out. Cas thumped onto his stomach, gasping for air, Dean took off his coat and gingerly placed it on top of Cas' exposed upper half there was no blood or breakage in the skin on Jimmy's vessel, Cas' Grace had healed the scarlet coloured skin quickly.

"Dean..?" Cas wasn't sure he actually spoke but Dean replied.

"Right here, Cas"

"They're gone" Cas sounded broken, similar to finding out from Joshua revealing God had left and did not want to be found.

"It's OK, I think," Dean wasn't sure what to do, he heard Cas snort.

"No, it really isn't" Cas stared up to Dean with watery eyes, he cringed as he pushed himself up onto his knees, the larger jacket sat awkwardly on his shoulders.

Both Winchester and Novak watched the discarded Raven feathers begin to flow away, Cas just stared on in defeat. Dean had caught another two before they scattered away; they were both medium in size and contained a little sapphire blue on the tips.

Dean made a promise to Cas he would keep them safe, later on placing them in his journal later on they could stay untouched and with Cas when he needed them.

Guilt ebbed it's way through Cas, deciding he had failed himself, Jimmy Novak's memory along with the Novak's themselves he found some spare clothes; a light blue shirt that was heavily crumpled and a pair of deeper blue jeans with fragments of tears in the knees and some boots that conveniently fit Cas returned to find Dean had left, his new clothes were uncomfortable but they would do. Dean's coat was still resting on the floor along side Jimmy's. Folding Jimmy's clothing away as neatly as he possibly could he stored them away in a tiny cupboard. Dean spotted Cas leaving, first believing it was someone else and hoped his friend would be OK.

Sometime later, possibly a month as it was harder to keep track of time, Cas became comfortable and a little confident without his wings.

After a failed Hunt Dean was surprised to see Cas sitting on the ground taking apart and putting together guns.

"I found something you may want to see" Cas jumped up with a loaded gun and took out Bobby's old camera, "Humour me"

Dean shrugged and called out, "Bobby, think the film still runs?"

"Don't see why not," Bobby set up the camera for a thirty second timer giving everyone time to prepare. All 'Resistance' were armed in the photo, it was pure luck they were able to print it. Cas stored the camera away with Jimmy's clothes.

While everyone was eating at what little food they scrapped together Dean noticed Cas picking at food, clearly seeing the doubt and insecurity of his situation, Dean had witnessed Cas' wings dissolve into nothing, what else could happen to his friend? Dean later confronted Cas about his concerns but both were producing a hell of a lot more questions than answers leaving them at a stalemate.

Cas was already starting to lose himself. Dean hoped Cas wouldn't lose his life because of it, silently vowing to keep one of his few family members safe.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : Already have an idea for Chapter 8.

It might be shorter than all the others. Don't know yet.

Will be updating as soon as it's finished.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N** :

 **Disclaimer Warning** : If uncomfortable with the reading the ideas of Self Harm / Suicidal Thoughts / Attempts please do not read.

This takes place after Chapter 6.

 _Italics_ with _'...'_ are thoughts

* * *

Cas was so sure he could do it this time.

Just one slice through his now fragile arm and that was it, one less mouth to feed, more ammo all around, one less useless pathetic nobody to care about.

 _'Just get it over with. Dean is out, he won't catch us this time'_

 _'Come on. He needs rid of your burden. His patience won't last forever'_

 _'End your miserable life, Castiel!'_

 _'Do it, Castiel. It isn't hard. How many times have you used a blade before?'_

 _'It's simple, one dagger plus one wrist equals your dead corpse'_

 _'Would Dean mourn?'_

Cas inhaled a shuddered breath, Dean. The man he loved and could never have. Dean's rejection was clear and now the former Angel had come to terms with it. He wasn't doing this because Dean had said no, he just felt he was the ultimate burden to bare, dragging Dean down and he wasn't stopping until one of them was dead, Cas deemed himself the superior candidate for Death as Dean was needed - not him.

Cas must had completely zoned out with the knife still resting against his skin as his next thought was shock after receiving an exceedingly furious punch to the face.

"Cas! What the Hell are you doing?" Dean yanked Cas to hit feet and shook him hard "I told you; never again!" The Winchester's grip tensed further, it reminded Cas of raising Dean from Perdition.

"Cas!" Dean shook Cas again causing his head to bump against the wall "Do not make me put you on Personal Lockdown" His voice low and threatening, one Cas hadn't heard in such a long time "Do I make myself clear?!"

Cas finally woke up from his daze and nodded.

"I need a verbal answer, Cas" Dean wasn't aware he had petrified his best friend.

"Yes, Dean"

Dean's vice grip was released, the air thick and musky from adrenaline, fear, panic unrequited love, it could have been speared by the blade Cas was ready to use.

Dean backed away without another word, swiping the blade and confiscating Cas' weapons. Dean couldn't trust Cas with any form of instrument that could impose Death.

Another week had passed, Cas didn't step out of his cabin for anyone or anything. He only listened to his voices and previous life as the Angel of Thursday and Jimmy Novak bawl him with thoughts of how he was useless, pathetic, worthless, something to be rid of, nothing worth saving.

Cas was depressed. He knew the emotion well now but lacked any effort to care.

Dean had informed Chuck of Cas' derailing, the two decided it was best to first leave him alone, carefully peaking in the windows every so often and keeping each other updated.

Chuck found it easy to leave Cas' 'door' alone but Dean was fighting himself daily just to see his blue-eyed best friend.

He knew that his reaction to Cas' attempt on his live was totally wrong but he'd rather silent treatment - knowing there was a body to see - instead of a burial. The Winchester had had enough of it all. Dean couldn't lose the last person he cared about.

Swallowing all emotions - especially rage, anger and hatred Dear jogged into Cas' living space. Only to have it completely empty, strange. Cas was usually in his 'living room' conducting the disgusting orgies he'd started at this time. Dean realised he could of walked in on something mentally scaring and shuddered hard.

"Cas?" Dean wandered around the Cabin, searching every room, closets, under the bed or behind any small area Cas could potentially fit in but nothing.

"Cas, where-" Dean voice stopped at the sign of paper jacked up against the wall by a piece of splintered wood.

 _Dean._  
 _I'm doing this so I don't weigh you down any further than I have._  
 _I wish the circumstances were different._  
 _For now, goodbye._  
 _-Former Angel of the Lord, Castiel._

Panic mode inserted its way into Dean's chest. "Chuck!"

"What? What's going on?" Chuck always jumped at Dean's louder voices.

"Cas is gone. He left a note, where would he go?"

"I don't..."

"Chuck!" Dean interrupted.

"Follow me," Chuck quickly led Dean to a break in the gates, it was cut with pliers, it was discrete and small enough for Cas to fit through.

"He'd go to the lake at the edge of the forest and just sit there for hours. No-one knows but me, I thought maybe he told you"

"No," Dean wasn't sure what the 'No' was for as he slipped through the fence and dashed off to find Cas.

It had taken him nearly ten minutes of pure sprinting just to find the trail to the lake. Dean called out Cas' name several times, his echoes would draw attention if he wasn't careful but Dean's priorities weren't in line.

Cas was sitting on the rock pier, his handgun lay heavy on his lap, hr knew she'd stared at it for at least six minutes now. He could hear Dean call his name but dismissed the idea of Dean actually being able to save him this time.

Cas stood himself up and just stared out at what remained of his Father's most beautiful creation destroyed but his Brother Lucifer, emptiness shoved it's way into Cas' entire body. once again he checked the gun and clicked off the safety like had had done hundreds of times beforehand. It lay heavy in his hands, he knew he shouldn't be doing this, Dean would be furious at him if he pulled this off, Cas knew this would distract Dean from ever finding the Colt and stopping Lucifer but the idea of self-importance vanished as quickly as it came back.

"Father, I know you're not there for me but just do something for me, be there for them, be there for Dean and make sure he doesn't do anything beyond reckless" Cas took in what was suppose to be his last breath, "Goodbye Dean"

"No!" Dean tackled Cas causing the gun to bounce off the rock and fire out a shot.

The two stilled as the uncomfortably lay intertwined in another. Dean's panting was the only indication of breathing

Cas shoved Dean off of him and stood up "Why do you keep saving me?"

Dean continued to catch his breathe, he glared up at Cas "Because that's my job"

"No," Cas argued back "no, you're job is to find the Colt and kill Lucifer. I'm just-"

"The only friend I have left. What is wrong with you? You think you can just throw your life out like that? You don't think you should or deserve to be saved?"

The air turned cold around them, Cas stared at Dean, gears were shifting in his mind of how to respond but he couldn't until he whispered "That was one of the first things you and I spoke about all those years ago"

"Yeah, that light show really did make one Hell of an entrance"

"I resided in Heaven back then,"

"Yeah, Cas. I know. So... do you?"

"Think I deserve to be saved? No"

"Cas-"

"Let me finish. I don't deserve to be saved because I am just hopeless being like this-"

"Shut up, Cas!" Dean ordered "Now listen to me, how many times did you stick your neck out for me and Sammy all those years ago? Too many and did we thank you? Barely. Cas, you saved me and people in those camp countless times and they didn't even know it. So, I think you should be entitled to just a little bit of saving and it's _not_ up for debate either"

While talking Dean hadn't realised how close he had posted himself in front of Cas, he also didn't notice he had taken Cas' wrist, covering Cas' hand with his own.

Cas absorbed what Dean was saying "OK, fine. If our Fearless Leader thinks I should stick around then I will"

"Good," Dean pulled him in for a quick man-hug "now enough of this, Dean gestured around himself

"You feel down, come and find me. If I'm out, leave a note and I'll find you here. Also," Dean picked up the forgotten gun and emptied the clip, pocketing it "If I ever catch you pulling this kind of crap again I will personally escort your ass into Lockdown and not let either of us out until you snap out of it. Clear?"

"Understood Dean"

"Come on,"

While walking back Dean folded his arm of Cas' left shoulder and squeezed it tight, reminding him of the scar that he imprinted on the Winchester years ago.

They knew they were each other's guardian 'Angels' despite their Mortality.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : I'm going to focus on Nightmares or Hallucinations next.

Maybe one each.

Please let me know what you would like to see.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** : Super Short Chapter coming up - Nightmares.

* * *

Countless night Cas found himself seething in his sleep, voices of his Brothers and Sisters calling out to him as they fled Heaven.

 _"Castiel"_

 _"Castiel, join us"_

 _"Follow us, Brother"_

 _"Abandon the Humans, Castiel"_

 _"Join us"_

 _"Leave Earth"_

 _"Castiel"_

 _"Dear Brother"_

It was harder to ignore than Cas originally believed. With many of his siblings it was a task to tune out ther voices but it was always Gabriel's voice that was the hardest to escape from.

 _"Come on, Bro. You don't need to waste your time down there anymore"_

 _"Cassss," He droned out "big Brother is calling you"_

 _"The fighting is over. We can finally have some peace"_

 _"Cas, it's BORING without you here"_

 _"Up-and-at-'em Baby Bro"_

 _"Little Brother, please. I am losing your presence. You don't have long"_

 _"Castiel!"_

Cas shot up, gasping and panting for his breathe back, more than enough times he shouted back at Gabriel, he wanted- no. Needed his big Brother to comfort him like his use to when he was a young fledging. Curling up into a tight ball he cried away his heartbreak and loneliness.

Heading outside into the bitter air the only positive he had was to watch the stars he and his Father and Brothers helped create. *****

Sighing through his nose he crouched down and continued to stare out the night.

"Gabriel, I hope wherever you are you have that peace you craved so deeply for. You shielded me from the worst of it and you made sure I was happy and protected. If it were possible I wish you could be here even if it were only for a moment. I miss you dearly big Brother"

Sinking into defeat and exhaustion Castiel fell asleep outside in the cold. Hours into his sleep, for just one second he felt a familiar sweet warmth of his Brother holding him.

The next morning he smiled properly in the first time in three years.

* * *

 **Extra Note** : Two updates in one day. Hope you've enjoy them.

* Little inspiration taken from _"Stardust"_ written by esompthin *

(Making sure credit is given - Go check it out. It. Is. Brilliant)

Open to suggestions for what happens next.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N** : Continuation of Chapter 9.

Short Chapter again - Sorry.

Please enjoy

* * *

Orange flame-like light crept over the cabin's. One of the few beautiful things that remained in this apocalyptic world was the Sunrises. Scarlets and Violets wisped through the amber. It woke up Cas, he grinned like there was nothing better in the world and truth be told, in that moment there wasn't to him.

Dean had noticed that Cas looked... well happy, more than that actually. A real smile was dawning on his face and there was a returned light inside Cas' once vibrant blue eyes that had left with his Grace.

"You good?" Dean asked

"Yes. Gabriel was with me last night"

Dean pulled a hard face "How?"

"I don't know but I'm sure it was him"

Dean nodded and smirked a bit, he didn't fully believe that Gabriel was back but there was no way in absolute Hell would he drag down Cas' great mood "So, you think you're up helping us again? It's been harder without you watching our backs"

"Fine. I could do with some air"

Dean finally noticed how exhausted Cas had appeared even if he wasn't yawning or his eyes were dropping

"You lose some hours?" Dean questioned as Cas left to get changed into 'battle armour'.

"A few, yeah. But like I said, Gabriel was here and made it better"

Dean still couldn't contemplate Gabriel actually being around but his thoughts were interrupted by Cas returning pulling on his army green coat

"So, what's on the agenda today?"

"Simple supply run. We've found a large Quiet Zone that should have plenty of supplies that we could return to more than once"

"Great, so... wheels up in ten?"

"No, now. I only need two men for this job and right now I could stretch my legs" Dean took the driver's side. Gears turned in Cas' head until he caught on

"Oh, right. Got it"

Dean chuckled as Cas tucked himself in shotgun, both Dean and Cas had taken handguns with them, it was a Quiet Zone but they weren't stupid.

Finding enough to last a week the two were back within a few hours. They were met with Rami and Louis arguing

"What's going on?" Dean demanded jumping out the jeep.

"Some arrogant dick waltzed in, took over the entire head cabin and locked us out from the inside, repeatedly saying 'I need to speak to Castiel and only Castiel'. No-one has been able to get in"

"Cas, with me" Dean ordered "The rest of you, find vantage points and aim for the door. do not fire unless you hear us shoot first"

Dean tried the door but it wouldn't budge, no matter how hard he rammed his shoulder into it "Son of a Bitch" he hissed

"They said he wanted to talk to me, think I could try?"

"Sure," Dean stepped away and aimed his gun at the door as Cas turned the handle, it complied, Dean was the first to go in with Cas right behind him, in retaliation the door slammed behind them.

"So? This is how you welcome back family?" A familiar voice called out.

Both Winchester and Novak's jaws fell, it couldn't be...

"Gabriel?" As if Cas had wings flung himself into his Gabriel's awaiting arms within a second of eye contact, Gabriel acted as if winded, curling his arms around his younger sibling's shaking body.

"Baby Brother, you really thought I'd leave you alone like that?"

Cas just squeezed Gabriel tighter. He began to break down and cry into Gabriel's shoulder.

"Shh, shh, shh. I'm here now. I'm sorry Cas" Gabriel hushed, rubbing his Brother's back soothingly as they rocked side to side.

Dean didn't want to ruin the moment and left, ordering everyone to stand down. They did, though confused, Dean explained that it was a personal matter and questions didn't continue.

Meanwhile Cas continued to sob into his Brother's body.

"I've missed you so much," Cas shuddered

"I know, I've missed you too, but there's a little problem baby Bro," Gabriel started already feeling Cas' grip intense "I can't stay long. It took a lot of energy and sneaking around just to say goodbye. I still hear you little Brother, you need to talk and I'll try my damnedest to reply to you" Gabriel gasped holding Cas just as firmly "They found me, Cas, let go I have to leave you"

"No, please... I don't want you to. I was happy, for today I was happy. I don't want to lose that"

"I don't want that either, Cassie. I love you and I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"I'll be accepted back into Heaven?"

"Of course. I'll be there to escort you back into our old nest and together you and I can stay there together forever"

"Really?" Cas couldn't stop his voice cracking.

"Yeah, you'll be an Angel again. Promise" Gabriel began to release his grip, he kissed his Brother's temple "Try to stay happy little Brother"

"Okay..." Cas took a deep breath and spoke in Enochian "I cherish and love you, big Brother Gabriel"

Pride swelled in Gabriel's chest as he saved the heart-warming look on Castiel's face.

"I love you too, baby Brother" With that Gabriel vanished.

For the rest of the day Cas had lost his good mood.

Dean made sure he was at least OK before the night ended.

* * *

 **Extra Note** :

To Cas speaking Enochian is a huge deal as he is among Humans.

Please R & R.

Don't judge but I got emotional writing this piece as I believe Gabriel and Castiel have a closer bond than most angels (that I've encountered so far).


	11. Chapter 11

It's funny, being an Angel meant you could do practically do anything your desired, you could flying around the entire circumference of the world Father was creating, travel through time, though recovery was required and you could even dive deep into the depths of Hell to save one man to help save the world.

As a Human, most things were limited; doubt crawled into your mind, ideas of becoming severely injured would cause fear and panic. Humans were a limited resource in Cas' mind now, he should know, he practically is one now.

One of the top items on his list he missed about being an Angel was strength: physically, mentally and emotionally.

Now he could barely muster enough of it to get up and fake his way through another twenty-four hours of living.

He was well aware of their Fearless Leader's worry and concern but Cas found a way to dupe Dean into believing he was OK; smiling exactly right, being prepared for the routine questions and nodding at the correct time seemed to help. Cas was now certain this was Sam's coping method of how to deal with the Hell around him before becoming Satan himself, he'd never release that thought, it always fit into the corner of his mind perfectly, floating around only when necessary.

Of all the times of thinking of the past, being pinned down by a alloy beam was probably the right one. The building they were searching the Colt for was falling apart to say the least. Croats were spread out along the entire area so everyone watched each other's back, created signals were shown at Checkpoints for an all clear, Cas was about to show his signal through the window when a short Croat had tackled him to the opposing wall, the entire room shook as Cas was desperately avoiding getting his neck ripped open, Cas had kicked the Croat off of him to fire a shot, his bullets were in the 'Extreme Caution' category so he had to make this count, however as Cas squeezed the trigger the Croat shifted, the bullet lodged itself through the ceiling supports and causing it to cave in on Cas. He heard a disgusting squelch of the Croats skull being pasted across the falling floor. The stench was enough to make Castiel gag.

Old problem; low on ammo. New Problem; slowly dying alone as a pin cushion.

He was sure he had blacked out as the next thing he knew more noise had surrounded him, he was sure there was more rubble and debris on top of him now. He could reach his gun and empty his clip to alert someone where he was, if anyone cared. Of course that little voice in his head told him Dean did, it took every ounce not to just drift into listening to the voice and damning the rest of his situation.

If potentially blood was entering his lungs and unconsciousness looming over his head he would have heard Dean calling for him.

Dean had heard the collapse of the building where he was sure Cas had entered. Giving his friend the benefit of the doubt he waited though he didn't quit fidgeting.

Three minutes had passed. Screw it, Dean wasn't exactly sneaking his way in.

"Cas?" Dean maneuvered around the dissolving structure, people that reached six foot shouldn't really have to bend or twist that way but Dean had to find his best friend.

"Cas?" Dean's voice bounced off the walls and carried on through the broken corridors.

It took a pain-staking long ten minutes and still nothing. He found a Croat with a particular head wound that was impressive and disgusting, Dean's eye trailed over the remains of the floor his spotted something blue, a very familiar blue

"Cas? Cas!" Dean dropped to his knees, brushing off the dirt and fragments of materials uncovering a worn baby blue shirt and one unconscious Cas wearing it.

Pressing two fingers under his nose Dean was slightly relieved to feel a little breath.

"Time to get up, Cas" Dean started to shove whatever was crushing Cas, slowly Cas began to regain himself, he tried to ask whoever was there but made a bizarre noise that he never wanted to make again

"Hey" Dean crouched down to analyse Cas, "I'll have you out in a minute, just try to keep your eyes open, it won't exactly be easy to lift what's actually holding you down" Cas nodded weakly as Dean continued his work.

Being careful wasn't quite on the agenda, the beam itself was stuck at an awkward angle, meaning Dean would need to shift the beam and Cas would have to crawl himself out. Continuing to black out was a dramatic problem, instead of breathing Cas believed he was inhaling and swallowing cement

"...De...an..."

"Just a second, Cas" Dean now only had the beam to deal with, he knelt down and stared down his bleary friend.

"OK. I'm going to move this, you're going to have to get yourself out, alright?" Cas gaped at Dean as a response.

"You ready?" Dean stood up still having his eyes locked on Cas. The raven-haired man(?) nodded and braced himself to move.

"On three" Dean spoke up.

Dean gripped the beam "One"

"Two" It began to move.

"Three" Dean used all of his strength to lift, he cringed as Cas gasped for air and flopped out of the way.

"Safe" Cas croaked out.

"Good-"

The beam dropped out the Winchester's grip voluntarily, taking out the rest of the flooring, Dean scooped Cas up and threw them both to a crumbling corridor.

"Cas" Dean pushed himself off his best friend and held him upright against his own chest, Cas was relieved he could finally draw a true breath.

"Thanks for that," Cas scrunched up his eyes, not realising his knuckles has transformed white from gripping Dean's shirt.

The Winchester had pulled the ex-Angel over his lap so Cas' ear rested above Dean's heart while he could stretch his legs, it gave Dean a slight vantage point of checking or spotting any injuries but Cas' luck held out, for once it would just be some bruising and maybe a cracked rib or two. Both believed it was better than Death taking them by far. The duo had stuck to their secret code; one didn't go without the other right behind them, that's how it would be between them.

"No problem. Let me know when you can move"

Cas nodded, his entire focus lay with the beating of Dean's heart. It gave the illusion of a lullaby

"You should have just left me there" Cas maybe be Human-ish but that didn't mean his social and verbal filter had altered in any way.

"Not a chance in Hell would that be happening, Cas. I promised I'd look out for you," Dean gripped Cas a little tighter "and I intend on keeping that promise"

* * *

 **Extra Note** : Still open to suggestions as I am running out.

Figured out about halfway through writing this Chapter I was inspired by CW's Arrow Season 1 Finale (Ah... The good times...) of Tommy and Laurel's final scene together.

Let me know what you all think.

Can't tell you all how much I appreciate the views and feedback.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N** : Haven't uploaded in a little bit.

Sorry if I've been keeping you waiting.

If wanting to, please leave suggestions for Chapter Ideas. I don't know what to do next.

I've played around with this idea in my head for a while, so hopefully this is OK.

 **Also** : I write the majority of these at about 02:00AM onwards, if Grammar or Spelling is a problem, that's why. Another time leap - one year, so 3 1/2 years have passed since the start of the Croatoan Virus.

* * *

Cas was OK.

Dean thought so too and was proud to remember it had been an entire year and Cas had no 'incidents' what-so-ever of any kind.

The Hunts became more frequent with the Ex-Angel and Fearless Leader, they were joined at the hip practically and now they were rebuilding a more or less broken relationship - platonic, though they wished things were different.

The Croatoan Virus had shown no indication of slowing, the Resistance were hitting small towns, one in particular was eerily familiar to Cas, more importantly his vessel Jimmy

He was staring down the moulded and broken exterior of his vessel's old house, he stood exactly where he had taken over his Jimmy's body, now a completely different man to all of those years ago.

"Cas?" Dean was behind him.

"Yeah?" Cas blinked his way back to reality, shoving down the concrete ball in his throat

"Did you hear a word I just said?"

"No,"

"Figures. I said that we should keep moving, staying in this place long is going to draw attention" Dean began to snag Cas' shoulder forward, making the ex-Angel move. Though Dean strode off quickly.

"OK. Right behind you" Cas' voice was barely heard, he glanced back at the Novak's house drawing a depressed sigh "Goodbye Ji-"

An unseen Croat had pounced on him, dirty blonde hair covered the woman's face as she snapped her jaw in Cas' face, he struggled under her weight, the girl was no older than twelve years old, "Get off" Cas booted the pre-teen in the stomach and finally got a look a the girl's face, his heart shattered; Claire Novak.

"No... I promised..." Cas deflated, wishing the gravel underneath him would swallow him whole down to Hell. He deserved it.

Claire leapt onto Cas' front, by habit he fought back, slamming his elbow into her jawline and dragged himself onto his feet "Claire, if even a little bit of you is left in there, know I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, for everything I've done to your family. I hope you were happy"

She twitched and staggered forward, a bullet speared through her head "No!"

"Cas, move!" Dean looped his arms tight around Cas, manhandling his friend away from the scene.

"Dean! Let go!" Cas squirmed in the Winchester's grasp "Let me go!"

"Cas" Dean grunted out as the smaller man continued to struggle "Focus on the mission"

For a second Cas acted as if he'd calm down, Dean released his grip but didn't leave his best friend's personal space, a mistake both would regret; Cas swung his head back causing a crack in Dean's nose and bolted off.

Dean swore "Son of a Bitch!" he checked for bleeding, only a dribble but nothing serious, Cas would just leave heavy bruising "Cas, get your non-Angelic ass back here!" Dean huffed to find him.

Cas had ran for more than one accountable reason, as if obtaining his super strength he burst through an empty house's door, he retched out and vomited all over the doorway and didn't stop until his vision doubled and blurred out. Standing he let out a roar from his throat, no longer caring who or what heard him, he needed an outlet but he just wasn't sure which bit of him; the deteriorated Angel or Jimmy Novak himself. Stumbling to the staircase he folded in to himself, he threw off his gun in a fit. His face sunk heavily in his shaking palms.

"What have I done?"

"You've experienced hard grief, trust me Cas, I've been there" Dean voice was scarily calm and preserved despite Cas' actions.

"Dean?" Cas lifted his head, unaware of the tears spilling down his reddened cheeks.

"Yeah" Dean was still acting calm, his eyes held sadness that only a recent griever would understand.

"I want to apologise for my behaviour" Cas started not daring to look the Winchester in the eye "I'm sorry"

Dean nodded in acceptance, pulling the former Angel to his feet and marching him into the open sitting room, "OK. First thing's first" Dean punched Cas, holding back of course - hitting him somewhere in-between his jaw and cheekbone, Cas staggered over into dusty furniture.

"OK, I deserved that"

"I'm not done yet" Dean roughly grabbed Cas again and held his face, pressing their foreheads together "I'm sorry about Claire, I really am but you need to focus"

Cas nodded slowly, using whatever willpower and strength he had left not to lean or sag into the Winchester's hands.

"Time to go. Grab your stuff and we'll head out in five"

"Alrighty," Cas took a deep breath, forcing a smile.

The mission continued and ended on what could have been seen as successful.

Cas floated to his cabin, no-one spoke to him again that night, not even their Fearless Leader which was silently appreciated. For the first time sine his encounter with Gabriel he prayed that Amelia and Claire's souls were looked after in Heaven if it still existed without all the Angels, Archangels and God there watching over it.

With his prayer still lingering in the air he found his blade, in one last moment of weakness he cut himself, watched his blood ooze out of the wound and then wrote the 'incident' down in his own personal journal he'd found on a Hunt. Taking down the object used, reason and time he would be constantly reminded of the failure to Jimmy Novak's memory and in a way dying wish.

"Claire, Amelia, Jimmy... If you ever find each other again please forgive me"

Cas was back to square one; no longer being OK.

It would be a long time before that feeling resurfaced again, if ever.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**

OK. Another time leap going backwards again, Sorry.

This takes place **_just_** before the Angels leave - so just under four years - and Castiel's problems begin so in this Chapter he is still an Angel.

This is based on the dialogue Future Dean shares with Past Dean about not talking to Sam in five years and demanding the Angels take his 'Yes' once it's too late.

Short Chapter this time around - Sorry again.

* * *

The news of Sam being corrupt was too much to bare for the surviving Winchester, he'd locked himself away in his cabin, ignoring every knock, voice or breach at the door. He's simply be dead to the outside of the world, it was only when he was sure that everyone was asleep or passed out that he would wake up and scream to Heaven and anyone who would potentially be listening.

"Yes!"

"Come on, you Son of a Bitch!"

"I'll do it! You hear me!?"

"I give my consent!"

"I said, Yes!"

"I chose to be Michael!"

Dean would scream and shout until his voice was a fusion raw and hoarse, even then he'd still try everything he could think of for attention. Once, though it failed he had attempted suicide knowing that he would be saved as Michael needed him as a Vessel but it didn't work - he was far too drunk to tie the knot correctly and he'd passed out with the noose limply lying downwards on his neck. Cas had scolded him hard for it and give Cas credit; all his points were spot on and he understood what Dean was doing but couldn't bare to see his best friend in the deepest abyss to date and Dean made it clear he wasn't attempting to resurface any time soon.

For weeks Dean hollered at the night sky for anyone to listen to him.

"I give my consent!"

I say, Yes!"

"I'll be Michael's sword and meat suit!"

"You hearing me? I said Yes!"

The only reply would be his own echo fading off into nothing. He finally broke and just crumpled to the ground, roaring out what little he had left to give.

Castiel watched from afar, it wasn't the first time nor would it be the last as he continued to watch Dean sink.

"I said Yes. Doesn't that mean anything, anymore?" Dean finally acknowledged Cas who had been standing over him for nearly five minutes

"I'm sorry, Dean. It seems Michael had stopped listening. Most of the Angels have turned their backs on our Father's greatest creation, all in fear of Lucifer

"Bunch of lazy-ass pansy dicks!" Dean yelled upwards "No offence, Cas"

"You've made your remarks about Angels very clear, Dean. Though I believe I am the exception"

"Yeah, besides... You heard me right?"

"I always do, that's why your vocal chords have yet to dissolve with all of your constant shrieking, the Angels do not take kindly to your persistence, Lucifer finds it humorous and I want to keep you safe"

"Well that's gotta count for something?" Dean picked himself off the ground.

"I believe so, Dean. We should return so you can rest"

"Wait," Dean stepped back "don't you need rest?"

"Only on a rare occasion, Dean. I will watch over you and our base of operations" The flutter of wings indicated that Cas had returned that back to their cabin, Dean was already lying down and could feel drowsiness creeping around his eyes and body

"Goodnight, Dean"

"Night, Cas"

Castiel perched himself on the bed's edge "You all elect to turn away, you are no true Angels Brothers and Sisters. The Righteous Man was ready and yet you - as Dean puts it - shoved your heads up your own asses. I am ashamed of all of you"

Castiel felt a nimble grip around his wrist, "Try to rest, Dean. I shall be here when you wake up"

Dean did as he was told, proud of Cas for sticking up to the Angels and for him.

* * *

 **Extra Note** :

Still open for suggestions.

Please R & R.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I would looking back at previous Chapters and totally forgot about the 'Fragile / Broken Bone' idea I had.

Hopefully this is acceptable.

Next Chapter involves Breathing Difficulties.

I will try to make it as long as possible without making it bland or boring.

* * *

I was rare that the Resistance actually turned on each other.

It turned out that Rager was easily offended by Cas and his happy-go-lucky attitude.

Cas was sure he hadn't done anything (unbelievably) offending to Rager but that didn't stop the stranger from rampaging against Cas and pummelling his face into the dirt.

Of course Cas knew how to fight back but he couldn't care less anymore.

As Rager had straddled his legs over Cas' chest, the ex-Angel just laughed as his face was continually punched, more dirt, testosterone and blood spread across his face, he felt the instant breakage of his nose, blood was spilling down his cheekbone and mouth but still he laughed, much to Rager's annoyance and anger.

Rager had had enough of hearing Cas laugh and attempted suffocation, it was then Cas swung back, his fist connected with Rager's left eye socket.

The two lay on the dirt, panting.

Rager dragged himself back up and manhandled Cas by the hair towards the cabin steps and slammed his face into the wooden slates, nose was definitely broken now. Cas swallowed some of his own blood distastefully.

In retaliation for the punch Rager stomped on Cas' right hand breaking that too.

Rager was about to continue however two incredible loud gunshots fired in the air, everyone jumped or flinched at the sudden noise then froze in terrified anticipation.

Piss off a Winchester and you run.

Hurt or kill someone that is connected to a Winchester you run and keep running until your last breath is taken.

Unless Dean Winchester finds you first. Then there's no chance of survival.

Rager staggered up to face Dean. Pure hatred emanated from Dean's sudden vibrant green eyes however his face was near emotionless. His handgun was steady in his grip.

Rager knew that Dean was protective of the entire camp, specifically Cas and Chuck. He knew he was screwed.

No-one blinked at Dean pulled the trigger for the third time straight in between Rager's eyes.

The body dropped and people continued whatever they were doing beforehand.

Dean stepped over the body and knelt down by Cas, silently inspecting the damage. Cas just started chuckling again, he'd honestly forgotten what he did to start the fight but Dean finished it so it didn't matter.

Cas' injuries took far longer to heal due to having bare supplies to deal with broken bones.

Anyone old or new knew one of Dean's top silent rules; _Don't harm Cas._ Everyone followed that rule because they knew the outcome would not favour you well.

* * *

 **Extra Note:** I thought the start of this Chapter was a bit bland and didn't know how to change it so I added a bit of Drama.

Also... No Dialogue, wanted a change. Next Chapter will contain it though, it will be broken up and choppy for the reason above.

I think Story is drawing to a close as I can't think of what else to do with this. Next Chapter will the be Possible Finale.

But - if wanted - I will be doing my AU 5X04 ending onwards.

* * *

The website hasn't wanted to co-operate with me lately, has it happened to anyone else?


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Here it is - Final Chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

Just under five years had passed since Cas' 'Angel Mojo' had slowly depleted from his body.

Honestly he was surprised he'd survive this long but he had Dean so at least he wasn't completely alone.

Before the Croatoan Virus it had started with possessing Jimmy Novak's body, raising Dean from perdition and then meeting and befriending Sam and Dean Winchester. Bobby Singer slowly entered the picture and Cas accepted him in stride, Bobby had done the same. Cas hadn't spent much time with Jo and Ellen but did feel sorry for the Hunter family that they lost two good people that day.

How Cas still wished for some of those good days back, Sam and Dean's Brotherly bond was something even Angels could barely achieve yet Lucifer ripped them apart as if they were paper. Cas stuck by Dean's side and wouldn't leave unless told to, Cas is still waiting for that day to come but doubts it will.

Dean and Cas' profound bound was stronger now, despite Cas becoming the useless pathetic piece of crap he was. Dean fixed all the new-found developed faults and mended the cracks of Cas' mortality. No smooth sailings but it was more or less complete now.

Some nights they would stay in each other's company, no words were necessary among them unless it got awkward but silence was the option they leaned towards.

* * *

It wasn't due to the smoking of his drags, at least that's what Cas told himself at first but breathing became a hardship, he would cough or hack away through the darkness of the night. Sometimes it would last a few minutes, other times turn into an hour or possibly more and then slowly but surely it would last through the night.

His body acted as if he was having seizures, in his bed or on the floor or outside. Sleep was interrupted daily now, waking up sweating hard, wheezing or unable to breath Cas was always thankful when Dean was around, concern written all over his face while rubbing Cas' back trying to calm the distraught man down and help his breathing return to normal.

"De-an... he...lp me..." The ex-Angel wheezed out, his eyes wide and face was red.

"Calm down, first. In and out" Dean found himself repeating that multiple times but the words had an eventual affect on Cas.

Some night Cas was asleep curled up against Dean's chest to remember the concept of regular breathing but coughing fits pursued.

"D- De- Dean!" Cas begged in between hacking up his lungs.

The Winchester had to swallow panic and his own rushed breathing. Dean was secretly failing at his title of Fearless Leader when he feared for Cas' life and did sneak in to check on his best friend when things were quiet at Dusk.

During a Hunt for the Colt which was in the Resistance's grasp now after a Winchester 'interrogation' was hugely successful. The Winchester managed to slip away into a run down pharmacy and found two things that could potentially help Cas, inhalers - two sets were grabbed for emergencies and some adrenaline Epi-Pens for worst case scenario. Once or twice Dean had seen a hint of blue shading Cas' lips and was far too uncomfortable with the idea of always lucking out. The Hunt brought them one step closer to Lucifer as Dean had caught themselves an entourage member of Lucifer for some more 'interrogation' time.

Returning from the Hunt, his alone time with the Demon and finally being able to relax for a moment Dean found Cas sitting against his own cabin's far wall, shaking a little. Dean had to give Cas credit, he was able to handle being Human relatively well despite everything that was dumped on his plate.

"Cas, I got something for you" Dean strode over and crouched down next to the fallen Angel "Inhalers, they'll help when things get bad, now I don't want to have to use this but I also grabbed some Epi-Pens for adrenaline if it got out of hand.

"Understand?"

"...Yes, Dean..." Cas feigned confidence despite the shaky breath, Cas smiled and winked at Dean. The Winchester rolled his eyes and left Cas with the medication as he remembered he had to score off map locations and find out a little bit more information from his 'friend'.

"You... you know that... the D- Demon is sc- scared of you..." Cas nonchalantly brought up while petering out a cough.

"Good, then it isn't just Lucifer they should fear"

"You know... Alastair was wrong... all those years... ago"

"Don't matter, Cas. I've got to go. Try and not die before I get back"

"Alrighty"

* * *

One night, that was all it took.

Dean was prone to spending the night with Cas so A. Dean wasn't alone and B. Cas didn't swallow his tongue in his sleep or fail to breathe at night.

Cas was so still and unbelievably quiet, Dean wished he had noticed sooner as it had been enough time for the former Angel's skin to turn cool and lips had turned light purple.

Once again Cas was under Dean's brute force of CPR, the Epi-Pen was out of it's case and ready to be used, the inhaler was resting on Cas' stomach while Dean pumped Cas' chest, after the thirty compressions and two breathes, the inhaler pump was pressed once then again after a space of five seconds and then pressed again. Once complete Dean would elevated Cas' head for ten counted seconds. Lather, rinse repeat.

It took far too long for Cas' bluer than blue eyes to open once again, his skin to return to their normal pigmentation and for his lips to fade back to pink whilst grasping at whatever oxygen he could. Dean eased the shaking man up to his chest to sit up. Both ignored the tears, Cas gripped Dean's left shoulder as tight as physically possible in his weakened state.

"I got ya," Dean murmured into Cas' dirty and matted hair.

"Dean..."

"Shut up, Cas. Save whatever energy you've got left, we'll need it for when we take on Lucifer. I'm sure I know what you're about to say but just focus on breathing right now"

Cas regained control of his breath and curled an arm absently around Dean, all of his words long gone after Dean had ordered him to shut up.

Cas knew taking Lucifer down would be the end of him and possibly all of the Resistance. They trusted Dean, their Fearless Leader and would follow him on the battle field it was just a waiting game now and their time was almost up.

* * *

 **Extra Note:** That's it - Story complete.

I was going to keep this story afloat for as long as I could and I think 15 Chapters is good enough as I didn't want repetitive Chapter Ideas going around.

I will be starting the AU 5X04 soon... If wanted if course.


End file.
